Tough talks – conversations about money with your spouse or partner

You know those tough talks: What investment to make, what expense to delay, do we have money in the account?   One unique conversation in our partnership was one of commitment – to have a ceremony, or to go to a state allowing marriage .

You know those tough talks: What investment to make, what expense to delay, do we have money in the account? One unique conversation in our partnership was one of commitment – to have a ceremony, or to go to a state allowing marriage.

It seems like most all work days involve a conversation I would rather not have…. coaching an employee for bad behavior, telling a vendor they are not performing, sharing news people would rather not know, and making decisions that select the best of several imperfect decisions. I could go on, but won’t. So, when it comes to life at home, I would really prefer to a) not make any decisions because I have made so many during the day and b) not have any hard conversations. As we all know, that is impossible – there are conversations that are tough ones across the hats we wear and that is life.

At the start of my daughter’s 4th grade year, I decided to follow a friend of mine’s lead (she is an elementary Principal) and let my daughter know that if she makes all A’s this year, her iTouch would become an iPhone. This did not go over well with my partner. As you can guess, my daughter aced her 4th grade year. So, it was time to have that conversation. The compromise was a two-page written contract that our daughter signed, but my partner’s still was not thrilled.

We all have tough conversations and often those involving finances are in that category. In a recent poll by the National Foundation for Credit Counseling, 68% of engaged couples had a negative attitude about discussing money. In that poll 45% saw it necessary but awkward and 7% thought it may lead to a fight. Wow, money makes the world go ‘round!

You know those tough talks: What investment to make, what expense to delay, do we have money in the account? One unique conversation in our partnership was one of commitment – to have a ceremony, or to go to a state allowing marriage . We opted for a ceremony with symbolic importance, but no true rights. Now, we are looking at possible future interesting debates depending on where the Supreme Court nets out in deliberations about families like ours. We are waiting with anticipation to see what interesting conversations may lie ahead.

What tough talks are you leaning into?

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