My 40th high school reunion: reflecting on the passage of time

At my 20th high school reunion, my classmates and I were in the prime of our lives and career.  Most of us were feeling young, enjoying life and working toward our life goals.

At my 20th high school reunion, my classmates and I were in the prime of our lives and career. Most of us were feeling young, enjoying life and working toward our life goals.


What a difference a significant passage of time can make! I recently attended my 40th high school reunion – the last one I went to was my 20th, and there’s a lot that happens in a 20 year span. While I was really looking forward to it reflecting on the past, I found myself feeling a little sad on the way home, which is certainly not an emotion I was expecting. In the days since, I’ve thought a lot about why that was.

I think some of it was what I’d call life and rites of passage. At my 20th high school reunion, my classmates and I were in the prime of our lives and career. Most of us were feeling young, enjoying life and working toward our life goals. We were in our late 30s and still had a lot of living ahead of us. Most of our parents were still with us and many of us had small children or teenagers.

Fast forward 20 years to the 40th reunion. The first thing I realized was that I couldn’t recognize many of my classmates. Several people had our old yearbook, which I hadn’t looked at in years. As I flipped through the pages, I recalled many of my classmates by looking at their senior pictures;but I sure would have struggled to pick out very many of them today without name tags! While there were a couple that I still recognized, many looked like strangers to me. The aging process is funny that way. The physical aspects creep up on you gradually so you don’t notice all the little changes over time in yourself and those you spend time with regularly. However, seeing the changes in people my age that I hadn’t seen regularly or at all over the past 20 years was eye-opening.

The hard truth is that we’ve all changed a lot, and not just physically. Many of us had lost one or both parents since we last met, some had been laid off or displaced, some were planning for retirement, almost all were empty nesters, and instead of talking about our parent’s health problems, we were talking about our own. And almost 30 of our classmates were no longer living.

I suddenly realized that “we were it.” As an older generation we are becoming the matriarchs and patriarchs of our families. We are community, civic and business leaders; church elders, grandparents and, for some, retirees. And the “somedays” no longer stretch as far out ahead of us as we always thought they would. We are now the “older generation,” and at least for me, I thought this day was a long way off.

It felt strange to suddenly realize we are the generation that younger generations now look to for strength, guidance, leadership, wisdom and experience, much as we looked up to our parents’ generation in the past. That’s quite a responsibility if you think about it, and not a little daunting.

Has a recent event or milestone in your life caused you to reflect on the passage of time and where you find yourself today? What was the catalyst for your self reflection and what revelations did you find most surprising?

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One Response to My 40th high school reunion: reflecting on the passage of time

  1. Steven Gaglione says:

    Your thoughts on the passage of time was very meaningful to me. When I attended my 20 year reunion two years ago, I was struck by how much living we had all done and how a short time together in the early stages of our lives had such an impact. I think we hold onto those high school memories, in part, to hold onto our youth and realize how simple and wonderful those days were. The aging process certainly affects everyone differently. I turned 50 this year which has certainly made me think of what next? I think as we grow older we truly grow and are comfortable in our own skin, are not dictated by what others think as much and if we have a plan for our older years these can truly be our golden ones as well.

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